Whilst they can be difficult to manage, and possibly embarrassing too if you are in public, it may help to know that tantrums are also entirely age appropriate for toddlers. When little people experience big emotions that they haven’t yet learned to master, they can quickly become overwhelmed or frustrated and experience a meltdown. How you respond to your child will have a direct effect on the duration and intensity of your child’s tantrum, so it’s best to remain calm whenever possible. Try to remember that their outburst isn’t a calculated response designed to manipulate you (unless you’ve rewarded tantrums in the past), your child is struggling with feelings of frustration, anger, anxiety, jealousy or another big emotion that they can’t manage on their own yet.
Common Reasons for Toddler Tantrums
· Hunger
· Tiredness
· Overstimulated
· Fearful of a new situation
· Need to assert independence
· Frustrated at not having the skills to do something they want to do
· Lacking the language skills to make their needs or emotions clear
· Struggling to take turns or wait for something
· Frustrated or angry at not getting or doing something they want
· Testing rules or limits
Tips for Avoiding a Tantrum Before it Happens
If possible, it’s preferable to diffuse a tantrum before it gains momentum. This requires you to pay attention to your child’s subtle cues so that you can help them before unmanageable emotions overtake them.
Ways you can help your toddler avoid a meltdown:
· Show them lots of love and attention.
· Create routines and ritual so your toddler has a sense of safety.
· Have realistic expectations of their abilities and needs.
· Use positive language and praise when you speak to them.
· Have designated quiet times during the day when you limit activities and noise so that don’t become overstimulated.
· Prioritise nap times so they don’t become overtired.
· Take note of triggers and work together to manage them when they next arise.
· Distract them from the task or situation that is frustrating them, and redirect their attention to something more appropriate.
Tips for Dealing with Tantrums When They are in Full Swing
Unfortunately, t’s impossible to divert every tantrum before it happens, so it’s important to have a clear idea of how to deal with them when they do arise.
· Firstly, remind yourself that the tantrum is something that is happening to your child, not something they are purposefully doing to you.
· Take some deep breathes to calm yourself so that you can calm your child and respond to them sensitively and in a way that will diffuse the tantrum rather than inflame the situation.
· Use a calm and soothing, reassuring voice, and keep your voice low.
· Some children respond well to being held and made to feel safe when they are out of control. Other children may prefer gentle touch, or just to have you nearby.
· Reduce the stimulation if possible, and move them to a quiet area if necessary.
· Concentrate on calming them. Now is not the time to reason with your child as they are unable to process it. Leave this until later when the tantrum has passed, and your child can listen.
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